so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
