Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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