my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
