Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
