Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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