I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
