How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
