I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
YAS. BRING CRAB.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
