Just cropdusted the office
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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