try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He shit in the fireplace
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
