Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
