the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Life is so much better after having sex.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
