do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Ladies don't puke and tell
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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