I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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