His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Everything about him screamed your future.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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