I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
false alarm. still invincible.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
