So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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