Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize