guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
