Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
