it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize
