You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize