Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Hippo gnu deer
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
And then he peed in my hair
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