Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
