Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize