I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
