He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
