your thong is hanging out like whoa
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
