just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
thus making me awesome and them whores
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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