i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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