SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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