So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
