Midget sex pt 2 tonight
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
