I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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