im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
