I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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