He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
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Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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