Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
