dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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