Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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