i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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