there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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