Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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