just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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