I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
