Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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