About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
