Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
