Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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