I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
