Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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