This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I party with great urgency now.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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