There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
