Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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