we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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