she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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