he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Let's get the cat blown out
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
