it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I cockslap morals
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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